Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Truth

Baby Angel Cookie,

Mummy's weekend was so hard to go by, a struggle to wake as always....struggle not that Mummy was sleepy, Mummy wasnt at all - in fact Mummy didnt reali sleep well. Mummy alway wake up in the middle of the nite and just couldnt go back to sleep. Struggle cos Mummy cant feel u. Struggle cos No cookie to kiss Mummy. Struggle cos Mummy had to let go but just didnt seem to.

Mummy cried so badly for the first week. But as days passes, Mummy felt so numb to living life...numb to crying, numb to everything in life. The truth is cruel yet so real...the more Mummy realised, the more Mummy numb Mummy feel. Baby u must be hating Mummy this way, Mummy hate it too. And Baby, there isnt much tears cuming out...but instead the pain seem to trap inside Mummy's deepest heart. You noe cookie, Mummy look fine on the outside but deep within my smile, Mummy 's heart is aching. Mummy had to smile...Mummy had to look good on the surface cos if Mummy dont, manys will be worried esp grandma. Grandma not doing well. Grandma visited the doc last nite n was crying n crying. Baby, dun be upsad k, give Mummy and Grandma more time...ok.

Mummy went church on sunday. From the start to the end, Mummy felt nothing wrong. Nothing wrong as in Mummy didnt feel crying like Mummy feel so numb to all these...mayb Mummy is trying to avoid, running away frm the truth. But stil Baby, toward the ending just before we left...Mummy broke down again. Mummy tot i wouldnt, but something inside making Mummy couldnt control anymore then. No matter how many times Mummy asked God why take Baby Cookie away? Why u? It is not going to change the truth...The truth hurts cos Baby u are the most precious...the most special...the most beautiful...the most protective...the most attached...the most sweet...the most gentle...the most bold...the most mummy always love.

Baby, whereever u are rite now, can u see us from where u are? Baby, dun be too noti, smelling others and not letting other friends to smell u. Baby dun bark too much and forget abt drinking water. Everytime Mummy say drink water, u will go drink drink...u understand Mummy words Mummy not beside u anymore, u have to be good gal.

Baby Mummy decorated a special place for u at home, in front of our bed. Mummy brought a very beautiful cystal frame for ur photo, matching cystal box to hold ur soft fur, ur baby teeth...Mummy also brought an angel. This little angel is holding a heart that wrote Sept. Cookie, do u noe u are just like this angel...Mummy's September Angel Gal. Baby do u like what Mummy have done up for u. Are u happy smiling in Joy seeing this?

Baby Mummy hope i could sent u this pices to where ever u are...the place for cookie belong to in Mummy 's heart, Mummy's room.

1 comment:

  1. RIP Cookie, don't be too hard on yourself Cookie ma . . . *lots of licks and smooches*