Mummy woke up and was crying this morning again. But Baby cookie, this time Mummy dun feel as bad as those other many times that Mummy shed my tears.
Somehow Mummy seem to understand certain things. Mayb not fully understood yet, but Mummy is somewhere there...i felt.
Mummy been telling myself, if Mummy continue this way...feel down and sad...cookie baby will also be very sad, worried and wont bare to let go too. Baby u love Mummy as much as Mummy love u rite...Just as u dun wan, dun wish to see a heartbroken Mummy, Mummy also dun wan to see a heartbroken Cookie. Mummy been thinking of this, for every little tears that roll down frm my eyes, Mayb it even more on cookie beautiful eyes. And frm this, Mummy suddenly feel like "wake up' kind cos Mummy wont want cookie to be in pain.
Its painful period while feeling cant really be control by oneself. But Mummy can control how to react to these feeling. I can control not to let my mind think of the unhappiness and dwel on it. Can control to keep my mind on happy issue. Can control my mind on the sweet moments wif cookie...I could do much more then dwelling into it.
Baby Cookie, U must be smilling happily rite now rite? Wherever u are now (Mummy wish u are in heaven thoug), Mummy wan u to be happy...Always happy...cos Mummy really love Cookie.
Is this what love is all about?
P/S: Thanks to my dear friends, for all ur prayers and support. U noe who u are rite, hehee i dun have to cum out names rite...frm the deepest of my heart - really thank u all. Becos of ur prayers, i m slowly and will slowly pick up frm the lowest soon.
Happy and Blessed 10th Birthday, Daughter Clare!
1 month ago