Sunday, October 17, 2010

Our Sunday

Baby Cookie

This sunday seem worse then last sunday.

Daddy woke up with a bad backache, whole body aching and couldnt go church. Becos Mummy didnt sleep well last nite. Mummy was awake in the middle of the nite. Mummy cried myself to sleep again. Weekend been always hard.Middle of the nite while Mummy was awake, Mummy blamed the aircon, the weather, the blanket, everything and even wake Daddy up to adjust the aircon etc....But the real true fact - Mummy noes. Its becos Cookie u are not here anymore.

Cookie how long more will Mummy get used to without u? How long more will Mummy be pefectly ok?

Angel been more almost three weeks already. And til now, Mummy stil feel like it had just happen...the pain is so intenses, so deep.
Mummy been reading alot of book right on dealing wif the loss of pets...books on do dogs go heaven...Mummy seem to be searching for an answer...But yet deep within Mummy noe there is no answer. No answer to why cookie is gone, No answer to why Cookie had to go, No answer to how to cope wif all these. Mummy just had to learn, learn to grow used to it. Learn to go out of it.

Still remember, Auntie A said this to Mummy:

You can let go, let go of the pain...let go of the guilt
Let go doesnt mean not to love cookie anymore
Let go mean to honour this love for cookie
Let go mean to remember this love for cookie
Let go mean to get on life and be a happier person
Let go mean to treasure the current wan who left behind
Let go mean not to dwell on the passing by
And by being able to let go - this is the true essence of love. Cos cookie wont wan Mummy to be be in pain, to be in guilt.

Mummy is still going through this...learning what its really meant to be. Perhaps this is ur purpose of life when u cross Mummy's path.

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